My date: "So ... what made you decide it was OK to meet me?"
Me: "Well ... You didn't mention your parole officer ..."
My date: "I don't have one ..."
Me: "Or your three children by three different women ..."
My date: "I don't have any kids ..."
Me: "Or your recovering drug habit."
My date: "I've never even smoked pot."
Me: "And none of your profile pictures were of you in your car; you posing shirtless, showing off your tats and weapons arsenal; or with a baseball cap sideways, trying to look gangsta."
My date: "I don't have any tattoos. I have a great scar, but no tattoos."
