The dating site to which I've lately trusted my romantic fate has a field called: "You should message me if." It's kind of a last chance to say something about yourself or to request a certain type to contact you.
Being the editor that I am, I found this feature lacking, so within it, I added the sub-category: "You should NOT contact me if."
With nearly every email I get, that sub-category list grows.
It has come to my attention that I am, after all, a bit of a snob. Some might call me downright bitchy.
I don't think my lists of contact-me-ifs and don't-contact-me-ifs are all that unreasonable. They're based on past experiences which I don't care to repeat. My bitchy heart is only so tough.
But you tell me:
You should contact me if:
- I haven't bored you to death.
- If being near a Republican doesn't make you blue or twitchy
You should NOT message me if:
- You're married, separated, dating someone or bisexual.
- You're looking for casual sex.
- The site says thete's a likelihood that we're more enemies than friends.
- You don't live in the United States.
- Your username is a reworked foul word.
- You're old enough to be my father.
- You haven't put any effort into your profile or your email. I put serious thought & time into my profile. I expect you to fill out the basics & string a couple coherent sentences together. Any variation of "Hey baby/wanna hook up/god ur hot/yo wassup/holla back" will get you ... nothing.
- You've already written & didn't get a reply.
So reader(s?). Am I too particular?
A friend who is in the midst of an Asshole Ex-Boyfriend-induced crisis advised me that when it comes to online dating sites (where her ex preys for new victims), a gal can never really be "too picky."
"Be as selective as possible, Sarah," she said. "You never know for sure who or what you're dealing with right away. Be as snobby as you want to be."
I value her counsel, considering the circumstances.
